The Desperation...

It's crazy feeling...

It can eat you alive, when blue running in my vein most hopeless moment of my life.

The desperation is result of suspicious, worries, possessive. 

When i gone nuts last night and i tried to get help i failed. who ever i turn to was not there for me at that moment, i start calling GOD and ask for peace and clam.

No one greater then him, he answered me and shown me the truth, i was shameful of crazy thought of mine.

GOD, thank you for giving me reason to live and be strong and help me to forget all bad things which make me sad.

GOD, thank you for blessing you gave me and beautiful children and caring husband.

GOD, forgive me for my mistakes and not be praying as i should be and help me to be better person, please...

I'm thankful for the kindest person i have in my life to listen to me and give me comfort and right advise to be wiser in life. Allah keep you healthy and happy always, Ameen.

 

Bafflement

.I'm in dark spot, it feel like sitting in long hall which there is no light at end of it

I really want to believe but i just can't , there is no clear explanation. Some thing to hang at it and kick myself and say I'm wrong. How can i forget it when there is no excuses for it.

Bafflement it's very bad spot...

When i look back,  thinking ok i didn't achieve what i promise if he may broken one, that's ok but it's not same at all...

My issue it's myself for now, no the actual matter. 

What happened  is happen i can't change it, as matter a fact he is 99% good person and most important an human.

I have to walk away of it on my face but my heart is in deep dark!